Anyone have any good jokes to share?

[Deputy]

As the subject states, anyone have any good jokes to share?

[TheSandman]

Removed Clutch's reply
I dont have any good ones that everyone will think is funny, im better at aussie jokes.

[Deputy]

Thanks sandman:) I've got one.
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,
"Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again.
"Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

[Shock]

Dokle je ciganka djevica?
dok je jaca od mladeg brata, brza od starijeg i dok je stari u zatvoru

[Ethan]

Dokle je ciganka djevica?
dok je jaca od mladeg brata, brza od starijeg i dok je stari u zatvoru


perhaps in English or at least translated to

[IcePick]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me."
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

[FaZe1337Sajmon420PL]

Dokle je ciganka djevica?
dok je jaca od mladeg brata, brza od starijeg i dok je stari u zatvoru

i only understood "gypsy virgin" 

edit:
i finaly convinced myself to read deputy's joke :p its nice 

[GeneralLee]

Thanks sandman:) I've got one.
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,
"Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again.
"Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

That's the best joke i ever heard!!

[Vinny]

Dokle je ciganka djevica?
dok je jaca od mladeg brata, brza od starijeg i dok je stari u zatvoru

i only understood "gypsy virgin" 

Same here 

[Tyler]

A guy with aids put his penis in my ear.

Now I have hearing aids.

[Marccc]

A farmer came in the bedroom of his farm, where his wife was laying in the bed.
He had a sheep under his arms and say; ''Look that's the pig i always fuck.''
His wife answered; ''ehm you have a sheep under your arms'''
The farmer say; ''You have to shut up your mouth, im talking to the sheep.''

[Vinny]

Lmfao Marccc xD
That one is awesome !!!!!

[Marccc]

The terms:
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Click Show spoiler for the joke.
[spoiler]

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[/spoiler]

[Vado19]

Billy has 10 chocolate bars and 9 candy bars
Billy eats all the chocolate bars and 5 of the candy bars what does Billy have now ?






Diabetes......he has Diabetes.... 

[Shock]

Dokle je ciganka djevica?
dok je jaca od mladeg brata, brza od starijeg i dok je stari u zatvoru


perhaps in English or at least translated to

For How long is a gypsy a virgin?
If she is stronger then her younger brother, faster then her older bro, and while her father is in jail